East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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