There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
