sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
