YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Farmville is her only friend.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
