Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
