It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you traded sex for a burrito?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
