Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
