wanna go halves on a baby?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Even my vagina gasped.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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