I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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