i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
foreskin is a definite game changer
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
