Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
