So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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