Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
