yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
