in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
