why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize