Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sext me about skeletons
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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