I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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