My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
