I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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