How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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