Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
