I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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