just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
