yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
