I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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