i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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