so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
This baby is an asshole
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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