chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
