The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
