My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
