What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
