lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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