her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
