so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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