You're so nebulous sometimes
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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