He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
