she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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