I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
