ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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