unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
