No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
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he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
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Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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