dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
