It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
