i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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