A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
