Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
