I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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