We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
