just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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