carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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