laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
