I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
