he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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