Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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