my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Are my feet made of real feet?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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