smell my finger.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
